you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
im calling her cock vulture from now on
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
