after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
