I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.