forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.