I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
