I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
