I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
