he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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