you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
