Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
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Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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