apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
