I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
