i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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