...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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