Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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