I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
