everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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