4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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