At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
