A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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