Your tits are I can't wait for
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
