And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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