420 ftw
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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