You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize