I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wish i was in the wii world.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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