Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Is it because I queefed?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
