just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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