She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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