If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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