Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
