Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
