I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
