Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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