It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
