I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
