apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize