I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize