A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
only if we run a train.
done.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
