they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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