Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i think my tv is drunk
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
