She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
