8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
