I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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