i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
