You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
