he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
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He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
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btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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