Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
