bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just found puke in my bra..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
