Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
