all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
