If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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