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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
