We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
