I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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