My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
