Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
