i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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