when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
