I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The best revenge is premature balding
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My vagina is very pro this idea
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
