You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
