If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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