just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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