So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize