Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
