I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
